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Shadow Work and Fathering: Making A Boy Into A King

How can shadow work help a man be a good father?

Shadow work can be a valuable tool for a man to become a better father by helping him address and heal unresolved issues, hidden emotions, and unconscious patterns. By exploring and integrating their shadow, men can gain greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and self-improvement, which can positively impact their parenting. Here’s how shadow work can help a man be a good father:

Self-Awareness: Shadow work encourages self-reflection and self-awareness. By examining their shadow, a man can uncover unconscious beliefs, biases, and unresolved emotions that may affect their parenting. This self-awareness allows them to recognize areas in which they may need to improve as a father.

Healing Trauma: Many people carry emotional wounds and unresolved traumas from their past. Shadow work provides an opportunity to address and heal these traumas, preventing them from negatively affecting one’s parenting style. A father who has worked through their own trauma can better support their children in processing and healing their own difficult experiences. Shadow work can be helpful here.

Emotional Intelligence: Shadow work enhances emotional intelligence by helping individuals understand and manage their emotions. Fathers who have a strong emotional intelligence can be more empathetic and better attuned to their children’s emotional needs.

Personal Growth: Shadow work is a journey of personal growth and self-improvement. As a man works on himself and strives for growth, he models the importance of self-improvement for his children, setting a positive example for them to follow.

Uncovering Unconscious Biases: Shadow work can reveal unconscious biases and prejudices that may affect a man’s parenting, especially in how he treats and communicates with his children. By bringing these biases to light, a father can work on eliminating them and fostering a more open and inclusive environment for his children.

Improved Communication: Shadow work often involves examining patterns of communication and interpersonal dynamics. This self-exploration can lead to better communication skills, which are essential for effective parenting. A father who can communicate openly and empathetically with his children can create a stronger and more secure bond.

Setting Healthy Boundaries: Exploring the shadow can help a man understand his own boundaries and learn how to set healthy boundaries with his children. This is important for maintaining a balanced and respectful parent-child relationship.

Being Present: Shadow work can help a man confront and overcome distractions or addictions that may prevent him from being fully present with his children. Being emotionally present and available is crucial for building strong parent-child connections.

Resolving Relationship Issues: Unresolved relationship issues, whether with one’s own parents or partners, can affect one’s parenting. Shadow work can help a man address and resolve these issues, preventing them from being passed down to the next generation.

Learning to Forgive: Forgiveness is an important part of shadow work. A man who has learned to forgive can model this valuable skill for his children, teaching them the power of letting go of resentment and fostering healthier relationships.

Incorporating shadow work into one’s life can be a transformative process that leads to personal growth, self-awareness, and emotional healing. As a result, it can help men become more compassionate, empathetic, and effective fathers, ultimately benefiting their children’s emotional and psychological well-being.

But what does being a great father involve?

Being a great father involves a complex and multifaceted set of qualities, actions, and commitments. Here are some key elements that contribute to being a great father:

Unconditional Love: Great fathers love their children unconditionally, providing a deep and unwavering sense of security and support.

Active Involvement: Being present and actively involved in a child’s life is crucial. Great fathers spend quality time with their children, engage in their activities, and show genuine interest in their development.

Effective Communication: Effective communication is key to understanding a child’s thoughts, feelings, and needs. Great fathers listen actively, engage in meaningful conversations, and encourage their children to express themselves.

Setting Boundaries: Setting and enforcing appropriate boundaries helps children learn responsibility and respect. Great fathers strike a balance between firmness and flexibility.

Role Modeling: Great fathers lead by example, demonstrating the values, behaviors, and work ethic they want to instill in their children.

Emotional Support: Providing emotional support and empathy is essential for a child’s emotional development. Great fathers offer comfort, encouragement, and a safe space to express emotions.

Teaching Values: Instilling a strong moral compass is important. Great fathers teach their children about honesty, kindness, empathy, and respect for others.

Encouraging Independence: Great fathers empower their children to become independent thinkers and problem solvers while offering guidance and support.

Education and Learning: Supporting a love of learning and education is important. Great fathers help with homework, encourage reading, and show an interest in their children’s academic progress.

Promoting Physical and Mental Health: Encouraging a healthy lifestyle, physical activity, and mental well-being is part of great parenting. Fathers prioritize their children’s health and well-being.

Balancing Work and Family: Finding a balance between work and family life is crucial. Great fathers prioritize spending time with their children and maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

Flexibility and Adaptability: Parenting is often unpredictable. Great fathers adapt to changing circumstances and approach challenges with resilience and flexibility.

Celebrating Achievements: Recognizing and celebrating a child’s achievements, no matter how small, boosts their self-esteem and motivation.

Providing Stability and Security: Great fathers provide a stable and secure environment where children feel protected and supported.

Quality Bonding Time: Creating special moments and lasting memories is important. Great fathers invest in quality bonding time with their children.

Supporting Hobbies and Interests: Encouraging and supporting a child’s hobbies and interests fosters their passion and self-esteem.

Gender-Neutral Parenting: Promoting gender equality and demonstrating respect for all genders helps children develop a balanced understanding of gender roles and relationships.

Active Co-Parenting: Working as a team with the co-parent is vital for creating a stable and loving family environment.

Consistency: Consistency in routines and rules provides predictability for children, which contributes to their sense of security.

Admitting Mistakes: Great fathers admit when they make mistakes, teaching their children the importance of humility and accountability.

Remember that great fathering is an ongoing journey, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Each child is unique, and parenting challenges evolve over time. The key is to provide a nurturing, supportive, and loving environment where children can grow, learn, and thrive.

Shadow Work and Manifestation

How shadow work can help you manifest what you want

Shadow work is a psychological and spiritual practice that involves exploring and confronting the hidden or suppressed aspects of your personality, often referred to as your “shadow.” It’s based on the principles of Carl Jung, a renowned Swiss psychiatrist, who believed that acknowledging and integrating your shadow can lead to personal growth, healing, and a more authentic life. Shadow work can indeed be a valuable tool to help you in your efforts to manifest what you want in life. Here’s how:

  1. Self-awareness: Shadow work begins with self-awareness. It encourages you to delve deep into your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, allowing you to identify any patterns or beliefs that may be holding you back from manifesting your desires. By recognizing these hidden aspects of yourself, you gain insight into the root causes of any self-sabotaging behaviors or limiting beliefs.
  2. Integration of the shadow: Once you’ve identified your shadow aspects, the next step is to integrate them into your conscious awareness. This process involves accepting these parts of yourself without judgment and understanding that they are a natural and essential part of who you are. By integrating your shadow, you can harness the energy and potential that these aspects hold, which can be channeled toward manifesting your goals.
  3. Healing and transformation: Shadow work often uncovers unresolved traumas, fears, or past experiences that may be blocking your path to manifestation. By addressing and healing these wounds, you can remove obstacles and clear the way for the positive changes you seek. Healing the shadow can lead to emotional and psychological growth, making it easier to align your intentions with your actions.
  4. Increased self-empowerment: Shadow work empowers you to take control of your life by confronting and transforming the aspects of yourself that have been in the shadows. As you integrate these aspects and release limiting beliefs, you become more self-assured, confident, and capable of taking deliberate actions toward your goals.
  5. Clarity of intention: Shadow work can help you gain clarity about what you truly want to manifest. Sometimes, we are unconsciously driven by desires or beliefs that aren’t in alignment with our authentic selves. By exploring your shadow, you can refine your intentions and ensure they align with your core values and aspirations.
  6. Alignment of energies: When you’ve integrated your shadow and healed past wounds, your inner energies become more balanced and harmonious. This alignment can create a powerful energetic state that is conducive to manifesting your desires. Your thoughts, emotions, and actions are no longer in conflict, making it easier to attract what you want into your life.
  7. Increased resilience: Shadow work equips you with greater emotional resilience and the ability to navigate challenges effectively. When you’ve confronted and embraced your shadow, you become better equipped to handle setbacks and obstacles on your path to manifestation, allowing you to stay focused and determined.

Incorporating shadow work into your manifesting efforts can provide a solid foundation for personal growth and transformation, making it more likely that your desires will align with your true self and come to fruition. However, shadow work can be a deep and introspective process, and it may be helpful to seek guidance from a therapist, counselor, or spiritual mentor to navigate it effectively.

Video about the principles of shadow work and how it can help you

Video about training as a shadow work facilitator

The essential energetic characteristics of any attempt to manifest an objective

Manifestation is often associated with the idea that your thoughts and emotions can influence the energy around you to attract your desires into your life. While the concept of manifestation is subjective and varies among different belief systems, there are some common energetic characteristics or principles that many people associate with successful manifestation attempts:

  1. Clarity of Intent: Clearly define what you want to manifest. Your intent should be specific, positive, and focused on what you desire rather than what you want to avoid. The more precise your intention, the easier it is for the universe (or your subconscious mind, depending on your belief system) to understand and align with your desires.
  2. Emotional Alignment: Emotions are a powerful energetic force in manifestation. You need to align your emotions with your intentions. This means feeling as though your desire has already been fulfilled. Positive emotions like joy, gratitude, and excitement can amplify the energy of your intent, making it more likely to manifest.
  3. Belief and Faith: You must believe that your desire is possible and that you deserve it. Doubt and skepticism can create energetic resistance that hinders manifestation. Cultivate faith and confidence in the process, even during moments of uncertainty.
  4. Visualization: Visualization is a technique that involves mentally picturing your desired outcome in detail. When you visualize, you create a strong energetic connection between your intention and your inner world, reinforcing the belief that your desire is achievable.
  5. Meditation and Mindfulness: Practicing meditation and mindfulness can help you become more attuned to your inner energy and thoughts. These practices can help you let go of negative thought patterns, fears, and doubts that may block the manifestation process.
  6. Gratitude: Expressing gratitude for what you already have can raise your vibrational energy and create a positive, abundant mindset. Gratitude is often considered a key element in attracting more of what you desire.
  7. Release and Surrender: It’s important to release attachment to the outcome and surrender to the process. Clinging to a specific outcome can create resistance. Trust that the universe (or the higher power you believe in) will bring you what is best for your highest good.
  8. Action: Manifestation is not solely about wishful thinking; it also involves taking inspired action toward your goals. Action is the physical counterpart to your energetic intent. It demonstrates your commitment and determination to make your desires a reality. Read about action in this piece by Marianne Hill.
  9. Patience and Timing: The manifestation process may not always happen on your preferred timeline. Trust that the universe has its own timing, and be patient while you wait for your desires to materialize.
  10. Positivity and High Vibrational Energy: Surround yourself with positivity, whether through affirmations, uplifting people, or engaging in activities that make you feel good. High vibrational energy attracts similar energies, making manifestation more likely.

Remember that the energetic characteristics of manifestation are highly subjective and can vary depending on individual belief systems. Some people might approach manifestation from a spiritual or metaphysical perspective, while others may view it as a psychological or goal-setting process. The key is to find an approach that resonates with you and aligns with your personal beliefs and values.

Is manifestation real?

The concept of manifestation is subjective and can vary depending on one’s beliefs and perspectives. Some people believe in the idea of manifestation as a real and effective practice, while others view it as a more psychological or placebo effect. Here’s a breakdown of different viewpoints:

  1. Believers in Manifestation: Many individuals and spiritual traditions embrace the idea of manifestation, believing that your thoughts, emotions, and intentions can influence the universe or the subconscious mind to bring about desired outcomes. They argue that by aligning your thoughts and feelings with your goals, you can increase the likelihood of achieving them. Practices like the law of attraction and positive thinking are often associated with this perspective.
  2. Psychological Perspective: From a psychological standpoint, manifestation can be seen as a process that taps into the power of the mind to set goals, focus on positive outcomes, and take actions that increase the likelihood of success. In this view, the act of setting clear intentions and taking steps toward one’s goals can boost confidence, motivation, and resilience.
  3. Placebo Effect: Some critics argue that the success of manifestation techniques is largely attributed to the placebo effect. They suggest that when people believe strongly in their ability to manifest, it can boost their self-confidence and motivation, leading to positive changes in their lives. In this interpretation, the actual process of manifestation may not rely on any mystical or metaphysical forces but rather on the power of belief.
  4. Skeptical View: Skeptics often dismiss manifestation as pseudoscience or wishful thinking, asserting that there is no scientific evidence to support its claims. They argue that the law of attraction and similar concepts lack empirical backing and may lead people to ignore practical considerations and action planning.

Ultimately, whether or not you believe in manifestation is a matter of personal belief and experience. Some individuals report positive results from practicing manifestation techniques, while others may not find them effective. It’s essential to approach manifestation with a critical but open mind and to use these techniques in conjunction with practical goal-setting and action steps to achieve your desired outcomes. Whether you view manifestation as a spiritual practice, a psychological tool, or a combination of both, its effectiveness may depend on your individual beliefs and experiences.

Why train in shadow work?

Training in shadow work

This training can offer numerous benefits for personal growth, self-awareness, and emotional well-being. Here are some reasons why you might consider training in shadow work:

  1. Self-Discovery: Shadow work allows you to explore the hidden and unconscious aspects of yourself, helping you uncover deep-seated beliefs, fears, and patterns that may be influencing your behavior and choices.
  2. Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: Shadow work helps you identify and transform limiting beliefs that may be holding you back in various areas of your life, such as relationships, career, and personal development.
  3. Emotional Healing: By confronting suppressed emotions and unresolved issues, shadow work provides an opportunity for emotional healing and release. This can lead to greater emotional balance and resilience.
  4. Improved Relationships: Understanding and integrating your shadow aspects can lead to healthier relationships by reducing projections and enhancing your ability to communicate and empathize with others.
  5. Personal Growth: Engaging in shadow work fosters personal growth and transformation. By embracing and integrating your shadow, you can evolve into a more authentic and empowered version of yourself.
  6. Video – how to benefit from shadow work – see the video
  7. Video – how to train in shadow work – see the video on training as a shadow work facilitator 
  8. Increased Self-Awareness: Shadow work deepens your self-awareness, allowing you to better understand your motivations, triggers, and behaviors, and leading to greater conscious decision-making.
  9. Enhanced Problem-Solving: By exploring your shadow aspects, you can gain insight into underlying issues and patterns that contribute to challenges in your life. This enables you to develop more effective problem-solving strategies.
  10. Spiritual Development: Shadow work is often associated with spiritual growth, as it encourages introspection, mindfulness, and a deeper connection to your inner self and higher consciousness.
  11. Empowerment: Confronting and integrating your shadow aspects empowers you to reclaim parts of yourself that you may have disowned or suppressed, leading to a sense of greater wholeness.
  12. Supporting Others: If you work in a helping profession, such as counseling, coaching, or therapy, training in shadow work can enhance your ability to support and guide others through their own healing and growth journeys.

Remember that shadow work can be challenging and may bring up uncomfortable emotions and experiences. It’s important to approach it with self-compassion and, if needed, seek guidance from trained professionals who specialize in this area. Training in shadow work can be a valuable investment in your personal development journey, leading to a more fulfilling and authentic life.



How To Overcome Limitations

One of the obvious questions when someone trying to get what they want in life, or decide on a way forward, whether by manifestation or will-power, is: “How do I overcome the limitations of the past?” To put it another way, “How do I get through my blockages and negative self-beliefs, the ones which hold me back from getting what I want and being who I want to be?”

In the past many aspiring manifestors have turned to therapy for help in these areas. And it is true that therapy can indeed change negative self-beliefs…. but often this change occurs slowly and sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. This may be due to the fact that there is some unconscious advantage to resisting change (after all, safety may lie with the familiar), or it may simply be due to the fact that your unconscious repressed limiting beliefs are not accessible to conventional therapy.

Fortunately, there is an answer to this dilemma: shadow work. This is an approach to therapy which reaches the deepest levels of the unconscious mind and can therefore change the deepest underlying negative beliefs which one holds about oneself.

Shadow work is a type of therapeutic practice that focuses on exploring and integrating the aspects of ourselves that we have repressed or rejected, typically due to social conditioning or trauma. The goal of shadow work is to bring these unconscious parts of ourselves to the surface, examine them, and integrate them into our conscious awareness.

Other types of therapies may focus on different aspects of our mental and emotional well-being. For example, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors, while mindfulness-based therapies aim to increase present-moment awareness and promote relaxation and acceptance.

While shadow work can be a part of other therapeutic approaches, it is a unique practice in that it specifically aims to bring to light the parts of ourselves that we have disowned or rejected. Shadow work can be intense and emotional, as it often involves confronting painful or uncomfortable experiences and emotions. However, by facing these aspects of ourselves, we can gain a greater understanding of our motivations and behaviours and ultimately lead a more authentic and fulfilling life. And, more to the point for an aspiring manifestor, we can often come to believe that not only is change possible, but also that we can actually get what we want because we deserve it and are worth it!

What happens during a shadow work session?

The specifics of a shadow work session can vary depending on the therapist and the individual’s needs, but generally, the session will involve exploring and processing the client’s unconscious or repressed emotions and experiences. You can read more about this here.

During a shadow work session, the therapist will guide the client through various techniques and exercises to help them access and process their shadow material. The eaxct form of the work will vary according to the individual’s needs, but generally, the session will involve exploring and processing the client’s unconscious, repressed emotions and experiences.

During a shadow work session, the therapist will guide the client through various techniques and exercises to help them access and process their shadow material. This may include visualization exercises, journaling, dream analysis, and role-playing.

The therapist will help the client identify their shadow aspects, such as repressed emotions, negative self-beliefs, or trauma, and encourage them to examine and explore these aspects. This process can be intense and emotional, as the client may need to confront painful or uncomfortable experiences and emotions. Doing so, however, can release a tremendous amount of spiritual, physical and emotional energy which then becomes available to the client for productive use – in particular for use in shaping the life they want to live.

As the client explores their shadow aspects, the therapist will provide a safe and supportive environment to help them process their emotions and integrate their shadow material into their conscious awareness. This can lead to increased self-awareness, emotional healing, and personal growth. It can also lead to greater autonomy, agency and personal power.

It is important to note that shadow work is a process, and it may take multiple sessions or ongoing therapy to fully integrate and heal from these aspects of ourselves. It is also important to work with a trained and experienced therapist who can provide a safe and supportive environment for this work. A list of trained and experienced shadow work coaches and therapists can be seen here.

Many individuals have reported positive outcomes from shadow work, including increased self-awareness, emotional healing, and personal growth. However, the effectiveness of shadow work depends on several factors, including the individual’s willingness to engage in the process, the skill and experience of the therapist, and the individual’s personal circumstances.

Shadow work can be challenging and emotionally intense, as it often involves confronting painful or uncomfortable aspects of ourselves. It may take time and consistent effort to fully integrate and heal from these aspects of ourselves.

That being said, shadow work can be a powerful tool for personal growth and transformation when practiced in a safe and supportive environment with a trained and experienced therapist. By confronting and integrating our shadow aspects, we can gain a greater understanding of our motivations and behaviours and ultimately lead a more authentic and fulfilling life.

How do I find a therapist trained in shadow work?

Finding a therapist trained in shadow work can be a bit challenging, as shadow work is still somewhat unknown.  However, there are therapists who specialize in this type of work or incorporate it into their practice.

One way to find a therapist trained in shadow work is to search for therapists from a recognised training institute, such as this one, who specialize in Jungian psychology. (Carl Jung is often credited with developing the concept of the shadow self.) Other therapists may describe their approach as “depth psychology” or “transpersonal psychology,” which may also include shadow work.

You can also search for therapists who offer holistic or integrative approaches to therapy, as these therapists may be more likely to incorporate shadow work into their practice. You can use online directories such as Psychology Today or GoodTherapy to search for therapists in your area who offer these types of therapy.

When contacting potential therapists, you can ask if they incorporate shadow work into their practice or if they have experience working with clients on exploring their unconscious or repressed emotions and experiences. Ultimately, finding the right therapist is a personal process, and it may take some trial and error to find a therapist who is a good fit for you and your needs. But it is well worth persisting! The rewards can far exceed the effort involved!

How To Attract Objectives You Desire


Processes To Attract Objectives You Desire

It is definitely an unusual thought, the idea that we really do possess the capacity to manifest our objective reality.

What I am suggesting by this is that with intense mental energy, along with the right spiritual conditions being met, we can all create the physical reality that we want in the world around us.

But many people do not believe in The Laws of Creation (which are also called the Universal Laws of Attraction).

However if you examine the tradition of writing on this fascinating and amazing subject, the wonderful thing you come to appreciate is that even as far back in history as the early Egyptians, some brave souls were definitely investigating the skills and philosophy of manifesting the goals they wanted, changing reality, and creation.

Certainly this kind of technique looks rather cryptic and  esoteric, which is perhaps why the facts around manifestation have been hidden in secrecy for so long. Manifestation is indeed a reality! 

One thing that becomes clear very quickly when yo ustart to manifest is that an absence of doubt and a strong sense of being in your own power are essential qualities for manifestation to become a reality. One way to remove doubts and fears, and boost your power, is to do persosal work on your archetypal energies. One probem with manifestation is that so many peope think it should be easy. Thid comes down to a sense of entitlement (read about this in Mark Manson’s book, here), rather than a natural ability to stand in your own Sovereign archetype and deal with the doubst and fears that your Magician archetype can generate. (If all of this discussion of archetypes means very little to you, this book is a great introduction to the subject.)

In every country, there have been sorcerers and intuitive people, shamans and hidden “collectives” – call them secret societies – committed to this matter of manifestation and also to applying the laws of attraction for their own enlightenment and greater knowledge in the world.

Yet there’s nothing mysterious about this. It is an apparently incredible but real human talent, gift – again, call it what you will.

And for those of a religious outlook, it also seems the Bible speaks of creation, most presciently when one discovers the words: “As a man thinketh in his heart so he is”. This is the equating of belief as part of manifestation with faith. With faith, all things are possible.

The very first modern details of the techniques, tricks, skills and tactics of creation was written by Napoleon Hill, writing in the 1930s, in the period of the biggest depression in the USA.

He recorded up the ideas in his amazing book “Think and Grow Rich“. This work has continued to be a classic and sells in the millions to this day.

However I rather suspect that a lot of men and women do not understand the ideas that Napoleon Hill was expounding and working on in this timeless classic (Think and Grow Rich). By the way, if you read it, get the modern edition from the Napoleon Hill foundation. The old editions are racist and sexist.

Hill made the simple point that he provided ideas throughout his book about the secrets of creation.

It was somewhat as though he was arrogant enough to suggest that only men and women who could grasp what he was saying (and that assumes he was saying it clearly, which some would, frankly, doubt!) were justified in getting hints of how to operate the Universal Laws behind these phenomena associated with manifestation.

I certainly wouldn’t take that position, but in fact, I have to admit it is not at all clear from Hill’s material just what he did take to be the secret of producing your embodied physical reality.

That said, Hill did appreciate each of the concepts that are crucial to fully attract things by manifestation – regardless of whether you need fiscal success, relationship success, worldly success, or any other goal. The Law Of Creation can help, as Hill said.

As always, that is to say as always in any writing on the subject that is of any value, the crucial element behind the laws of creation or attraction is to get a very clear aim and to visualize yourself as if you already have that aim present in your own life.

Detailed imagery is vital, because by taking an in-depth image, you can produce a enthusiastic passionate desire or want for a specific object. Obviously, there must be a good reason for you to want your aim. Just weakly thinking that you’d like a zillion dollars isn’t satisfactory.

This is because in the absence of an emotionally driven force, without a fervent desire to do something purposeful with the cash, you are not going to possess the emotional drive that enhances the process of manifestation and attraction.

As many folks have observed, including Napoleon Hill, passionate desire and complete belief about the prospect of attaining your aim are both vital for it to manifest in your current situation.

You might, for example, desire to start a charity or help homeless people, or enjoy exploring some other charitable venture when you have extreme wealth.

The essence of this is to discover what it is that causes your heart to sing with joy, and then set out to achieve that goal. And once again we come back to the power of the Sovereign archetype, which is the repository of joy in the human system.

Hill additionally highlighted that it was vital to have or access support in using this method of attraction.

Hill advocated what he spoke of as a mastermind group, consisting of likeminded people who are fully supportive and understanding of you as you are striving to achieve your (passionately) wished-for goal.

It is a fact that when you’ve got a group of individuals working together, the degree of ingenuity and force produced is thousands of times greater than you’d anticipate simply by combining the energy of the group together.

Actually, the power of the mastermind group is that it creates an energetic energy which harnesses into the Universal Laws of Creation to assist you in manifesting your aim.

One crucial element that Hill emphasized over and over again in Think and Grow Rich was the demand to have complete, total faith in the possibility of reaching your desirable outcome.

To put it differently, in the event you experience any questioning or  uncertainties, or should you not believe that you may attain your goal, there isn’t the slightest possibility it will show up.

To take care of negative ideas that prevent you reaching your goal, you have to look into into your subconscious mind, and examine what those negative ideas are.

Then, you need to reconsider them in some way so you can quickly replace all of them with better beliefs which allow you to move positively on the road towards your goal.

Although conventional counseling or treatment is a good method of doing this, it’s a tedious procedure, and to achieve results in a timely fashion you may need to consider some kind of actionistic therapeutic work including Shadow Work or Family Constellations.

With the help of those therapeutic systems, you will be far more able to use the Law Of Manifestation immediately and efficiently.

Video: Archetypal work

Manifestation & Law Of Attraction

One of the most exciting discoveries of the 20th century is the fact that we now know that manifestation and the Law of Attraction are universal skills and tools every single one of us possesses.

Quite why the universe has chosen to gift the phenomenal ability to manifest reality, to co-create reality with the cooperation of the universe, to each one of us, is a mystery to this day, but it doesn’t matter!

What matters is that we all have the power to manifest our reality, and we can all set about doing so anytime we choose to. This is why it’s actually called conscious creation – you have to make some clear intention to manifest your reality in a different form to the one that currently surrounds you.

Video – Manifestation as a psychological process

Yet if it’s so easy, and in particular if it’s so easy to do it in the way described in The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, published 2007, then you have to ask – why isn’t everybody doing this?

Why isn’t everybody creating their own reality, and living a life of satisfaction, joy, harmony and richness?
Well…. first of all, many people are quite lazy, that’s undoubtedly one reason: but another is that, as you can read on the Internet, many people who tried to make the Law of Attraction work for them failed to do so.

(The more articulate amongst them then tend to write a blog on why the Law of Attraction is a scam and designed to fool people, ripping them off and exploiting their goodwill!)

Of course it’s human nature to be skeptical, it’s human nature to “diss” anything that isn’t fully understood, and it’s certainly human nature to believe that you can’t get something as easily as the Law of Attraction would imply.

Yet when you think about it, thoughts are things, because every single thing on the face of this planet started as a thought in somebody’s mind. And you know yourself how positive thoughts attract positive experiences, and negative thoughts can attract negative experiences. In some sense we can take this philosophy a little bit deeper, into the realm of the subconscious, or the unconscious, and come to the conclusion, perhaps, that there are more things about manifestation and creation that we do not know than we do know. Some of these things undoubtedly relate to the power of the unconscious mind. In particular, the power of the human shadow. (The shadow is the part of the unconscious which is responsible for controlling what we believe to be our conscious actions in the world. These are concepts are explained much more fully in this book: Warrior Magician Lover King.)

Now, I’m not trying to make a mystery of manifestation and the Law of Attraction, because I think it’s all actually quite simple: in the simplest terms possible, matter and energy the same thing, so that when you send out a thought, which is pure energy, there’s absolutely no reason to suppose that it can’t influence the energetic form of matter in the world around you.

Of course it’s a slightly larger leap to assuming that because you’re able to manifest things that you consciously think about and decide to create, that you can unconsciously manifest people, places and object as well.

But that’s what I want you to believe: the unconscious mind is thousands of times – nay, hundreds of thousands of times – more powerful than the conscious mind, and it’s simply logical to assume that its power to manifest is much greater than the conscious mind.

This means you don’t have to think consciously about what it is you’re trying to achieve, you just have to set in motion a certain process, to which the universe will then undoubtedly respond in the most amazing way.

You see, the thing is, the point that people who are skeptical about the Law of Attraction and principles of attracting reality miss is the fact that it’s actually a fundamental law of nature which is as natural to the human condition as breathing and eating. There isn’t any proof of this – at least, no scientific proof, although the experiences of hundreds of thousands of people across many centuries demonstrates the truth of the principles at work here.

Using The Law of Attraction is an act of faith – and that’s the important thing! As humans, we are required to believe that the Law of Attraction will enable us to manifest our reality, but the condition for us doing that is first of all that we must believe. We must, in short, have faith. That’s absolute faith, which leaves no room for doubt.

Perhaps that too is another reason why people fail – maintaining belief in the face of failure, or maintaining belief in the probability of something that is intrinsically quite improbable happening around you can be challenging.

But isn’t that the very nature of faith? That you stretch the boundaries, and you go beyond what you know to be true? That you explore the realm of the subconscious, and then you explore the realm of the metaphysical. This is the realm that allows us all to manifest those things which we want in life, provided we follow a few simple steps.

I’ve already mentioned the power of belief, but what follows next is more interesting: it’s intense desire, passionate desire for something to manifest in your life, something that you want so badly that you can almost taste the need for it in your life.

Rarely in life do we actually want anything intensely: our wishing is mostly of the wishy-washy kind of weak willed “how nice it would be if I had this in my life” kind.

But the truth of the matter is that wanting something passionately is well within the capability of any person who has the capacity to feel normal human emotions. The reason that mostly doesn’t happen, I believe, is that our desire is drummed out of us in childhood.

Our hopes and expectations, our beliefs and our desires, our passionate acceptance of the world as a benevolent place, is tested time and time again, until a point comes where we’ve completely lost our belief in our ability to change the world around us or to shape our destiny.

Only a fortunate few people retain this belief, and only those fortunate few are keen and passionate about the possibility of manifestation in life. Yet if you raise your expectations, you’ll find the Law of Attraction can work for you just as well as it can for anybody else.

Perhaps the best way of demonstrating this to yourself is to start with small objectives, and to move from those to something more ambitious each time you achieve success. You can find out more on the subject of my websites, which I’ve linked to above.

The Importance Of Having A Vision

Finding A Vision For Your Life

Let’s face it: no matter how determined you may be, you’re not going to get anywhere in life if you don’t know your destination.

Think of a GPS navigation system: it’ll take you where you want to go only when you program it with a destination it understands.

That’s exactly how your mind works, too. It’ll unfailingly take you to your destination – provided you know where you want to go.

And, just like a GPS, the mind requires a detailed set of instructions about where you’re going, about your destination in life. This set of instructions is your VISION – literally, your vision of what your ideal life will look like when you’ve achieved it.

Video – how to write a vision statement

You probably think your destination is success and achievement, which is what we all think we want.  Although true, this objective simply isn’t detailed enough for your mind to generate the energy which will take you there.

Your mind requires much greater clarity and detail before it will begin working to infallibly move you towards your goals, your desired outcomes, your vision of your future.

Right now, you may be wondering how you can get clear enough about what you want to form a vision of what your life will look like in the future.

To start with, you have to care enough about your life being different. As the quote from Anthony Robbins at the head of this section makes clear, you need something which gives you a strong “pull factor”. That is something you really want to do which excites you so much that you have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning!

An easy way to begin clarifying what you truly want is to make a list of 30 things you want to do, 30 things you want to have, and 30 things you want to be, before you die. This a great way to get things moving.

There are many other ways to discover what you want. You can attend workshops which are designed to help you discover what you really want in life. These can be great if you like working in groups and sharing the process of self-discovery with others. (See the resources section of this book for more details.)

Alternatively, you can work with a friend in a very simple way. To help you dig out what you really want, find a supportive friend who you trust to not make any judgements about what you say. Have him or her repeatedly ask you “What do you want in life?”

At first your answers might be purely material – you might find yourself expressing a desire for a big car, a big house, and lots of money.

Of course, if you achieve success in life, you may want a luxury car and a beautiful home. But a deeper vision of your life always starts to emerge after anything from five to fifteen minutes of constant questioning by your friend: “What do you really want?”

Shadow Work Can Help You Find The Way To Your Vision

The “superficial” answers (big house, big car, lots of money) soon give way to the real foundations of your vision. You begin to express values, qualities and actions that are the true expression of who you really are. These are the aspects of yourself which you may well have kept hidden for years – perhaps all your life.  (I explained some of the ideas behind the concept of shadow in this page of the site.)

For example, when I did this exercise a few years ago my desire for an Alfa Romeo and a five bedroom house by the beach soon gave way to my true motivation. What did I really want in life? I wanted to help people find their true selves. I wanted to serve people in a way which enabled them to overcome the trauma and emotional wounds of their childhood. And I also wanted to feel loved and respected. I wanted to have the personal power and skill to make a real difference to the lives of people who were having relationship difficulties, or problems finding their true power. I wanted to work with people who were determined to take back control of their lives from their wounded Inner Child and let their lives be run by their true Sovereign Adult self. And so on. These were the real things which I had held in shadow for many years, hiding the truth about what motivated me from everyone, including myself.

But when I started shadow work, I knew I had found a way to uncover not only my truths, but also how to manifest them. That is why I became a shadow work practitioner and teacher.

Happily for me, that is what I now do, and it’s what I am passionate about – running shadow workshops where people can open up to their true power and potential. And along with the enjoyment and fulfilment of living my right livelihood goes material satisfaction. I make money doing it.

Happily for you, the same can be true for you. When you find what you love to do, you will make money at it…. provided you have dealt with any limiting beliefs which might get in your way. 

With shadow work, which is explained here, you can quickly get a sense of your vision by answering three simple questions: What do you really love to do? Where do you really love to be? Who do you love to spend time with?

Dr Chris Stankovich is a high-performance sports coach who’s designed programs to enable athletes at all levels from amateur high school players right up to world class athletes to achieve and fulfil their maximum potential.

He’s worked with many US football teams and Major League basketball teams, and he’s a world class expert on motivation. Here’s the thing: he believes that acquiring skills is a much easier thing than developing the true passion needed to succeed.

True passion, he says, is roughly the same as “intrinsic motivation”. In other words, the best way to achieve outstanding success is to find out what you feel passionate about and then do it, rather than trying to decide what you want to do and then developing the skills and enthusiasm to do it.

Without true passion, he says, it is impossible to reach your full potential in life. He adds, “I have also discovered through my travels that it is vitally important to clearly state your goals and dedicate your life 100% towards your goals if you want to truly achieve great things.”

Dr Chris, as he is known, says he believes we all have passion and purpose in our lives even when we’re not clear about where that lies. And he makes the point that passion and purpose literally make you love being engaged in all aspects of what you’re doing.

Without passion and purpose, people give in to pressure and stress, and begin to point the finger of blame and responsibility away from themselves and towards just about everything and everyone else. But with passion and purpose, athletes quickly move through tough times and stay hungry for the next day. The same is true for all of us.

Can you teach – or be taught – passion and purpose? Probably not. But you can certainly look for it in yourself. And a good clue to where you can find your own passion and purpose is to look at what you love to do – what gets you up early in the morning and keeps you up late at night.

One sports quote Dr Chris uses with athletes is “the only thing you deserve is what you earn.” It’s a telling quote which makes perfect sense. Those who know this do not make excuses for their failures and shortcomings. Instead they use each lesson as a building block to do things even better tomorrow.

How To Be Prosperous – Shadow Work

Finding your right livelihood is not a matter of chance – it’s a matter of planning and good intention. Here are some useful guidelines.

Consider What You Would Do To Help The World And The People In It – Right Now

Over the years I’ve worked with clients, I’ve discovered that the majority of people find their life purpose is fundamentally to do with connection.

That may be connecting with other people and supporting them in some way, or connecting with Mother Earth and supporting her.

Although I’m still wondering whether everybody’s mission is ultimately about greater connection, I rather suspect that it might be.

So ask yourself what social, environmental, community or family problem you care about, and start doing something which contributes to a solution.

Video – finding and integrating your shadow

Obviously you can’t solve all the world’s problems, but you can make a difference. Feeling powerless and disempowered helps nobody; believing that you can do something which will impact people and make a difference changes everything. And what stops you from doing these things is your shadow. You can read about that here.

Shadow work – integrating your shadow – changes everything because you reclaim your own power. You become more powerful. You become more emotionally and physically whole. You inspire other people by your example. And by inspiring other people, you are at the foundation of a greater movement which eventually becomes the norm – for you and those who emulate you as their Leader. (Hopefully a Heart Centred Leader.)

Not only that, but following your mission and purpose gives you a feeling of power, satisfaction and joy because you are indeed contributing to positive change in the world.

And people who believe they are making a difference seemed a lot happier than people who spend their time moaning about how bad things are.

What Do You Fantasise About? A Clue to Your Soul Purpose!

I am absolutely sure there’s something you want to do, something you believe you could do, something you imagine yourself doing… but somehow, for some reason, you don’t do it.

I’m sure you can come up with plenty of “reasons” why you don’t do it. Maybe you’re scared of what other people might think. But, to be blunt, there’s always a deeper reason for not doing something than “what other people might think”.

Generally it comes down to fear. And one thing I can tell you about fear is that a great way to destroy it, and all the illusions which lie behind it, is simply to take action.

The fear which is in your shadow, put there by other people, is the fear which will prevent you from moving forwards in your life and getting what you want. It will also prevent you form being the King or Queen you can be.

But when you engage with shadow work (provided, that is, that you have done enough work to bring the finer qualities of these archetypes out of shadow), little can stop you from getting what you want. Being what you want. having the impact you want. Read about the nature of shadow here. And explore the reasons for doing your personal work here.

When you do what you’re frightened of, whether that’s lifting the phone to speak to somebody, asking for an interview, trying out a new idea, exposing your vulnerability to the world, or taking any kind of risk, you defeat your fear and give yourself an insight into how courageous you truly are – even if you don’t succeed.

The women and men who allow themselves to be constrained by fear are the ones who don’t get anywhere.

So when you fantasise about doing something, and you feel you really want to do it, summon up your courage, find a way to do it and learn from what happens. You never know, you might be successful!

What Absorbs You So Completely You Forget About Everything Else?

A great clue to hunt down your passion is to look at what makes you lose track of time – you know, the one which can even make you forget to eat dinner.

We’ve all had that experience, and there’s an important message in there.

If you can become so absorbed in what you’re doing that you forget to eat, and don’t notice the passage of time, then it’s likely you’ve found one of your passions.

And somewhere in your passion there’s a clue to your purpose.

Even if your passion is playing video games at all hours of the day and night, maybe there’s a reason why that’s your passion, a reason that could help you find your purpose in life. Maybe you want to spread a message through this medium! It would certainly be a great way to connect with people!

How to find your purpose

Another way to look at this is to consider where your tolerance for failure is high.

In other words, where in your life do you put most effort towards succeeding? Where can you tolerate your mistakes, and carry on with enthusiasm and passion?

For me, the first item of wooden furniture I built gave me a clue that this was one of my passions – to create beautiful and useful objects made of wood.

And even though I made some blunders in measuring and sawing the timber for the bed I was building, my determination to create a functional and aesthetically beautiful piece of furniture drove me on until I succeeded.

Is that my life purpose? No, but there’s something about persistence, trail and error, creativity and creation in the mix here, something which can help me to understand my skillset. And that includes skills which I can bring to my life purpose of healing people’s emotional wounds.

Interview Your Younger Self and Your Older Self

If your five-year-old, your ten-year-old, and your fifteen-year-old selves could come back to life and speak to you now, what would they tell you about the way you’re spending your life? The answer, of course, is that they would tell you – whether they knew it or not – about the shadows that formed in your early life. They would reveal. simply by speaking their truth, what qualities and attributes they had hidden away to stay safe, to continue to be accepted. And that  would give you a clear view of what you could have achieved if only you had examined the unspoken and hidden shadows in you unconscious using shadow work earlier in life. And perhaps still can, if you do the work.

Finding Hidden Shadow Beliefs With Shadow Work

Well, the good news is that your younger parts are available to you, and they can do exactly that.

All you have to do is imagine your 15-year-old, 10-year-old or 5-year-old standing opposite you, close your eyes, and ask them a question – “What did you most want to do in the world?”

You can then switch yourself physically into the position of your younger self, and answer that question from the knowledge and wisdom of the younger part of yourself which still lives inside you.

Crazy though this may sound, all the parts of you that ever lived are still present in a very real way inside your mind. They can tell you better than anyone about your childhood dreams and aspirations.

Perhaps the answers to the questions you have about your life purpose lies somewhere in a conversation with those parts of yourself. This is one of the fundamental techniques of shadow work.

Try it with an open mind. You’re almost certainly going to be surprised by the answers.

And if you wish, you can have the same conversation with the beautiful and older parts of yourself, the seeds of which currently lie inside you.

Choose an age – perhaps the age at which you consider you will have reached wise elderhood – and imagine that part of you to be standing opposite you.

Ask that part of you, with your eyes closed, “What are you most proud of having achieved in your life?” Or perhaps “What would you most like to have achieved in your life?”

Again, physically switch into that place and answer the question from the imagined elder that you will become.

After all, that part of you already knows what you will most regret not having done when you come to your final moments on earth. And of course, that part of you also knows what you could have been most proud about doing in your life on earth.

Read more about shadow work and depth psychology here.

Finding Your Right Livelihood 3

Continued from here

Finding Right Livelihood and Overcoming Blocks

You see the theme here? It’s about bridging the gap between what excites you, what you’re good at, and the way in which you can make money doing it.

Often it’s surprisingly easy to bridge that gap – because building the bridge simply needs a little creativity and imagination. But of course, as I said in my previous post, you may also need to overcome the blocks which hold you back. (Read more about how these beliefs operate here.)

And that’s why you need to be open to any possibility.

Having a clear vision is the first step in creating that mindset; we’ll explore how to create a vision for your life in the next post.

Another thing you can do is deliberately open yourself up to new possibilities, coincidences and little miracles – simply by taking action.

For example, you might choose to start a random conversation with everyone you meet. Suddenly someone comes along who turns out to have some information you need or offers the perfect opportunity. This is how the Universe works… coincidence, synchronicity, chance. Little miracles. It’s not your job to understand. It’s simply your job to accept that it is so.

A great way to make this shift in your thinking is to put yourself fully into your life. To put yourself fully into your life you might like to consider exploring shadow work – it is the most powerful system for unblocking mental problems that hold you back.

Video – shadow work – how to integrate your shadow

Shadow work allows you to jump in and try new things. It means you stop resisting the unknown. It allows you to make an effort to be fully present in the here and now. It lets your passion lead you in life. It means that you trust your hunches or intuitions. It means that you’re open to talking to strangers. It means that you notice opportunities when they present themselves. And it means you think, act and behave with a positive attitude. What a difference that can make! (Considering trying it out? Get some more information on this here.)

Do you, for example, consider yourself lucky?

Well, it turns out lucky people create their own good fortune. And – more importantly – “unlucky” people actually create their own misfortune. An experiment by Professor Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire shows this very clearly.

He and his colleagues asked a group of people to describe themselves as lucky or unlucky, and then invited them to an interview, supposedly to discuss taking part in a psychological study.

What the participants didn’t know was that the study was already underway as they went to the interview. The researchers had placed a $10 note on the sidewalk at the entrance to the meeting place, and they surreptitiously recorded who noticed the money and picked it up.

You won’t be surprised to learn, I’m sure, that only a few of the people who describe themselves as unlucky noticed the $10 bill.

And yes, you guessed it, most of the people who considered themselves to be “lucky” saw it and picked it up. Read more here.

The lesson is clear: open yourself up to what the world has to offer and the world offers a lot more than you could ever have imagined.

Richard Wiseman sums this up very clearly:

“My research revealed that lucky people generate their own good fortune via four basic principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, they make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, they create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and they adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.”

3  Allow Yourself To Listen To What Your Heart Is Telling You

You already know in your heart the answers to all your questions about what and why you’re here.

To be more successful, you simply have to stop trying to work things out with your mind, and instead follow your gut instincts, your intuition, and your heart’s promptings and longings.

So how about simply asking yourself what it is that you love to do, hearing the answer, and then start taking steps to do it? This will connect you with your joy and open the gates of inspiration.

When you allow yourself to be led by your heart, you’re naturally in a much more joyful place, and you’re much more motivated to explore possibilities. And the more you do what you love, the more opportunities you’ll create for greater inspiration and more profound joy.

As you explore the possibilities which open up, you’ll eventually come to understand your passion and life purpose. After that, life becomes less about finding your mission and more about living it.

And then you move into joy….

4 Remember There Could Be More Than One Thing That Matters

When we talk about life purpose being expressed through a job about which you’re passionate, it’s important to remember there are many routes to reach the same destination. Most people’s path of personal development is like a Quest, a search for meaning. Most people who quest successfully will follow a diverse and rich path fill of different experiences, all of which contribute some element of knowledge and wisdom.

In fact, thinking there might be only one way to express your deepest self can limit you in many ways. It closes possibilities off to you. You need to open your mind in as many ways as you can.

As Shannon Kaiser puts it, “The notion we have only one thing we are meant for limits us from fulfilling our greatness …. I have six different job titles. I’m a life coach, travel writer, author, speaker, teacher, mentor, designer, and each thing I do brings me joy but none of these are my purpose, they are my passions. Let go of thinking there is only one purpose for you and embrace the idea that our purpose in life is to love life fully by putting ourselves into our life! This means we jump in and try new things; we stop resisting the unknown, we fully engage in what is happening right here, where we are … The feeling that something is missing goes away when you lead a passion-filled life.”

5 Take Action

Discovering what you’re passionate about in life can be a matter of listening to your heart, but it can also be matter of taking action.

Simply put, the more things you do, the more likely you are to discover what you enjoy, what excites you, and what feels right for you. And if this sounds like a trial and error process, maybe it is.

But every time you try something new you gain a little bit more insight into what excites you and what does not. As Mark Manson says:

“Let’s pretend there are no useless websites, no video games, no TV. You have to be outside of the house all day, every day until it’s time to go to bed — where would you go and what would you do?

“Sign up for a dance class? Join a book club? Go get another degree? Invent a new form of irrigation system that can save the thousands of children’s lives in rural Africa? Learn to hang glide?

“What would you do with all of that time? If it strikes your fancy, write down a few answers and then, you know, go out and actually do them.”


Finding Your Right Livelihood (2)

How To Discover Your Right Livelihood

“I have not always chosen the safest path. I’ve made my mistakes, plenty of them. I sometimes jump too soon and fail to appreciate the consequences. But I’ve learned something important along the way: I’ve learned to heed the call of my heart. I’ve learned that the safest path is not always the best path and I’ve learned that the voice of fear is not always to be trusted.” ― Steve Goodier

To find your right livelihood, and perhaps the expression of your soul purpose, you need to access the knowledge of your subconscious mind. (Read about the unconscious or subconscious mind here.)

There are many ways to do this, and here are just a few of them.

1 Look At What Do You Do in Your Spare Time: What Are Your Hobbies?

Years ago, I worked with Alan, an accountant who was thoroughly bored with his corporate job. When he came to me for a coaching session based on shadow work methodology, I asked him to tell me what made him excited. He shuffled his feet and eventually replied, “Nothing, really.”

And then I asked him what he did in his spare time. For the next 30 minutes he regaled me with stories of making wine at home, in his cellar, with the wine press he’d built by hand.

Sensing I might be on to something, I asked him: “Alan, have you ever considered a career in the wine industry?”

There was a long silence, eventually broken by a string of expletives expressing, I imagine, his astonishment that this had never occurred to him.

Then, tentatively, as if he were nursing this new idea like a new born infant, he asked me, “How do you think I might do that?”

I happened to know that the local college offered a part-time course in Wine Education, under the auspices of the Wine and Spirit Education Trust, a body dedicated to furthering people’s careers in the hospitality industry.

Next thing, Alan phoned me up, very excited, to tell me that he’d signed up for the course. And a couple of years later he passed all the exams with flying colours and moved seamlessly into a job as a wine buyer for a national supermarket chain.

For several years he had a great time touring and sampling wines all over the world. Sensing it was time to move on again, he studied for a degree in winemaking and then moved to Australia, where he immediately landed a job as a winemaker with one of the large wine companies.

A few years later he’d accumulated enough money and contacts to fund the purchase of his own vineyard. He recently sent me an email in which he told me how happy he was having found “his passion”.

“Everything about this job suits me,” he wrote. “The connection with the land. The investment of time and care in Mother Earth which you need to produce a quality product. That deep sense of being so linked to Nature. The movement through the seasons. The science of fermentation. The art and craft of producing high quality wine which enhances so many people’s lives. And beyond all of that, I totally love how wine brings people together in such a fun way.”

As Alan’s story shows, what you do in your spare time can be a crystal clear indication of where your true passion and interests lie.

Video – uncovering your true passion

When you look at what you do in your spare time, does it have an underlying purpose which excites you and drives you on to achieve more in this area? Is there some way in which it benefits the world or the people in it?

And if that’s true, then how might you begin turning your hobby into an occupation?

Now – a word of caution. Often people have a sense of their passion, but are inhibited about following that path. they fear failure. They think they are not good enough. They are scared of being seen, of “putting their heads above the parapet”. In other words, their fears hold them back. Bit here’s the rub – those fears can be unconscious. You may require some therapy to uncover them; you may require more therapy to overcome them. And yet, without such therapy, how are you to get what you want – your passion? I  will say more about this in a moment.

2 Take Note of What Interests You and Excites You

When you read books, what excites you? Stories of adventure, exploration, discovery? Science, art or literature? Which programmes are unmissable for you on television, and why is that?

What in the world gives you happiness, pleasure and satisfaction?

Video – why are people so unhappy?

(Unhappiness is a massive block to seeking fulfillment and passion in your work because it blocks motivation.)

One of my clients, Susannah, who was working as a mechanical engineer in the railway industry, told me that she loved watching TV documentaries on the history and geology of the British landscape.

In fact, she told me, she’d enjoyed a sense of connection with nature since she was a little girl, when she used to play endlessly in the fields, mountains and streams of the English Lake District.

And her face lit up when she talked about introducing other people to the pleasures she knew so well. In fact, her passionate desire to share this landscape and her knowledge of it was very clear. She talked a lot about reconnecting people to Nature.

But like so many people in this situation, she hadn’t chosen to explore her excitement and joy any further. Her fear, her unconscious fear, stopped her. And note  that was fear she barely knew existed in her mind. It was, as the psychologists say, “in shadow“.

What she needed was a catalyst to show her how she could turn her passion for the land into something bigger: a pastime, a job, an occupation, a life purpose even.

Often people know what excites them but they fail to make the connection between their excitement and the possibilities which lie hidden within it. For Susannah, all that was needed to bridge this gap was to learn just enough about the art of documentary filmmaking.

Now, you may say, “That’s such a big thing.”

But a little learning about how to make documentaries allowed Susannah to submit some simple videos to a number of TV companies all over the world. Soon, her videos came to the attention of a producer on an American TV channel.

And then Susannah was invited to submit a script and a test shoot for a series of programmes on the British landscape – with her in front of the camera.

Finally, with her script accepted, she was invited to present the programs on camera for a commissioned TV series.

Last I heard of her, Susannah was living her dream.

She was exploring and adventuring in the landscape she loved, introducing millions of other people to the possibilities of pleasure in this glorious countryside.

More than anything else, she was living her life purpose: bringing people to an understanding of the delicate ecosystems on which we all depend.

And note that she did this by working on her unconscious fears: which meant, for her, seeing a psychotherapist qualified in shadow work, who could uncover and eliminate her deepest fears and self-doubts.

Sure, you may not want to make TV programmes, but you can still think about what excites you.

And, as a corollary, you can think about what scares you. And when you find out what scares you, you can do some personal work on it. See, for example the description of what is possible on this website about shadow work. The author says: “If you are wrestling negative emotions, beliefs, or habits, it’s not because you are broken. With enough commitment and curiosity, you can address these things and move beyond them….”   

For example, what do you post about on Facebook, Pinterest or any other social media site? What unique knowledge and talents could you share with other people?

Sarah Charles graduated in 2007, but rapidly discovered that undertaking graphic design work contracted by large corporations didn’t prove as fulfilling or creative as she’d hoped. So in her spare time, she created her own prints inspired by nature – owls, armadillos, wolves, trees, flowers, and so on.

Because she was open to the possibility of new ways of expressing her art, Sarah set up a store on Etsy, a newly developed online platform where craftspeople could sell their products. Etsy brings together skilled artists and buyers who appreciate the time, creativity and effort which the merchant-artists put into their products.

And sure enough, customers began to find her. Better still, her customers began asking her to make T-shirts, pillows and throws screenprinted with her designs.

This allowed Sarah to make a few extra thousand dollars a year for several years doing what she loved to do.

And then, in 2012, Etsy featured her on its homepage for five days. This led to thousands of new orders and allowed Sarah to turn her hobby into a full-time career.

Literally overnight, she stopped working for companies and started to focus entirely on her own creations, selling them through her online store. Her business is now thriving, and paying her more money than she’d earned in any other job.

This means Sarah can focus on the artistic and creative side of the business. As she says, “I’m in the sweet spot where I’m at my capacity but I’m making great margins and paying myself well.”

Continued here