Finding A Vision For Your Life
Let’s face it: no matter how determined you may be, you’re not going to get anywhere in life if you don’t know your destination.
Think of a GPS navigation system: it’ll take you where you want to go only when you program it with a destination it understands.
That’s exactly how your mind works, too. It’ll unfailingly take you to your destination – provided you know where you want to go.
And, just like a GPS, the mind requires a detailed set of instructions about where you’re going, about your destination in life. This set of instructions is your VISION – literally, your vision of what your ideal life will look like when you’ve achieved it.
Video – how to write a vision statement
You probably think your destination is success and achievement, which is what we all think we want. Although true, this objective simply isn’t detailed enough for your mind to generate the energy which will take you there.
Your mind requires much greater clarity and detail before it will begin working to infallibly move you towards your goals, your desired outcomes, your vision of your future.
Right now, you may be wondering how you can get clear enough about what you want to form a vision of what your life will look like in the future.
To start with, you have to care enough about your life being different. As the quote from Anthony Robbins at the head of this section makes clear, you need something which gives you a strong “pull factor”. That is something you really want to do which excites you so much that you have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning!
An easy way to begin clarifying what you truly want is to make a list of 30 things you want to do, 30 things you want to have, and 30 things you want to be, before you die. This a great way to get things moving.
There are many other ways to discover what you want. You can attend workshops which are designed to help you discover what you really want in life. These can be great if you like working in groups and sharing the process of self-discovery with others. (See the resources section of this book for more details.)
Alternatively, you can work with a friend in a very simple way. To help you dig out what you really want, find a supportive friend who you trust to not make any judgements about what you say. Have him or her repeatedly ask you “What do you want in life?”
At first your answers might be purely material – you might find yourself expressing a desire for a big car, a big house, and lots of money.
Of course, if you achieve success in life, you may want a luxury car and a beautiful home. But a deeper vision of your life always starts to emerge after anything from five to fifteen minutes of constant questioning by your friend: “What do you really want?”
Shadow Work Can Help You Find The Way To Your Vision
The “superficial” answers (big house, big car, lots of money) soon give way to the real foundations of your vision. You begin to express values, qualities and actions that are the true expression of who you really are. These are the aspects of yourself which you may well have kept hidden for years – perhaps all your life. (I explained some of the ideas behind the concept of shadow in this page of the site.)
For example, when I did this exercise a few years ago my desire for an Alfa Romeo and a five bedroom house by the beach soon gave way to my true motivation. What did I really want in life? I wanted to help people find their true selves. I wanted to serve people in a way which enabled them to overcome the trauma and emotional wounds of their childhood. And I also wanted to feel loved and respected. I wanted to have the personal power and skill to make a real difference to the lives of people who were having relationship difficulties, or problems finding their true power. I wanted to work with people who were determined to take back control of their lives from their wounded Inner Child and let their lives be run by their true Sovereign Adult self. And so on. These were the real things which I had held in shadow for many years, hiding the truth about what motivated me from everyone, including myself.
But when I started shadow work, I knew I had found a way to uncover not only my truths, but also how to manifest them. That is why I became a shadow work practitioner and teacher.
Happily for me, that is what I now do, and it’s what I am passionate about – running shadow workshops where people can open up to their true power and potential. And along with the enjoyment and fulfilment of living my right livelihood goes material satisfaction. I make money doing it.
Happily for you, the same can be true for you. When you find what you love to do, you will make money at it…. provided you have dealt with any limiting beliefs which might get in your way.
With shadow work, which is explained here, you can quickly get a sense of your vision by answering three simple questions: What do you really love to do? Where do you really love to be? Who do you love to spend time with?
Dr Chris Stankovich is a high-performance sports coach who’s designed programs to enable athletes at all levels from amateur high school players right up to world class athletes to achieve and fulfil their maximum potential.
He’s worked with many US football teams and Major League basketball teams, and he’s a world class expert on motivation. Here’s the thing: he believes that acquiring skills is a much easier thing than developing the true passion needed to succeed.
True passion, he says, is roughly the same as “intrinsic motivation”. In other words, the best way to achieve outstanding success is to find out what you feel passionate about and then do it, rather than trying to decide what you want to do and then developing the skills and enthusiasm to do it.
Without true passion, he says, it is impossible to reach your full potential in life. He adds, “I have also discovered through my travels that it is vitally important to clearly state your goals and dedicate your life 100% towards your goals if you want to truly achieve great things.”
Dr Chris, as he is known, says he believes we all have passion and purpose in our lives even when we’re not clear about where that lies. And he makes the point that passion and purpose literally make you love being engaged in all aspects of what you’re doing.
Without passion and purpose, people give in to pressure and stress, and begin to point the finger of blame and responsibility away from themselves and towards just about everything and everyone else. But with passion and purpose, athletes quickly move through tough times and stay hungry for the next day. The same is true for all of us.
Can you teach – or be taught – passion and purpose? Probably not. But you can certainly look for it in yourself. And a good clue to where you can find your own passion and purpose is to look at what you love to do – what gets you up early in the morning and keeps you up late at night.
One sports quote Dr Chris uses with athletes is “the only thing you deserve is what you earn.” It’s a telling quote which makes perfect sense. Those who know this do not make excuses for their failures and shortcomings. Instead they use each lesson as a building block to do things even better tomorrow.